The old place.
This is what it will always be like in my dreams.
All the animals getting along well... and in good health... and the grass green...
And the turkey poults.... errrrr ... chicks healthy and out with mom.
And the gardens with fresh mulch...
And all the different animals looking so healthy...
And they never die.
But here's the reality.
I spent 3/4 of my time.... three quarters.... taking care of all these
various and sundry animals... and I took care of them like each was the only animal I had... which was the only way I knew how or accepted.
I was up early, and went to bed in exhaustion nearly every day. For eight years, we never
went ANYWHERE together overnight, except maybe 3 times... and it was an effort to find farmsitters every time we needed to be away for a few hours. The farmsitters had to be paid, too.
If it wasn't the animals, it was the gardens or mowing the yard or pasture.
Always, always, something that needed to be done.
I had done this at the first Calamity Acres, too, when there was only one of me.
I should have known.
Keith jumped right in with both feet when we first moved there... and built so much of the infrastructure... his mantra, in fact "Infrastructure first". Of course, I didn't always follow it.
Then, his health worsened.
I spent even more time taking care of everything... and things started to go to rack and ruin in the buildings.
Fast forward to our move, totally unexpected this spring.
If you had asked me a year ago... would I ever move off our little piece of heaven?
But here is something I have been finding out in this last month.
It's okay not to feel guilty about not doing chores for an hour in the morning and in the evening.
It's okay not to start 500 seeds inside.
It's okay not to be planning a garden this year, when we are surrounded by
It's okay not to can or freeze.
Will I ever have a garden again?
YES... I am already planning it. But we are at least two months away from
being completely finished at the old place... so we won't be doing much
but planters this year.
Will we ever have diverse animals again... no, but I'm happy to have had them, and
I admire those who have them. I can tell you it is hard, hard work.
Here is something else I have been finding out...
I have a husband with whom I can have discussions again.
I told him last night "Gee, we sure are talking a lot since we moved!"
"You were always busy outside, and I was too sick to go out. When you came in, you were too tired to talk."
Shame on me.
That, if anything, is a good enough reason to move.
So... yes, I miss the ponds, and the pasture and the wild things and the birds and the mini-horses,
but I have a best friend back again, and a hopefully long future with him.
A good trade off?
I think YES!