Thursday, April 24, 2014

A Serious Subject


The old place. 

This is what it will always be like in my dreams. 
All the animals getting along well... and in good health... and the grass green...


And the turkey poults.... errrrr ... chicks healthy and out with mom. 


And the gardens with fresh mulch...


And all the different animals looking so healthy...


And they never die. 

But here's the reality. 

I spent 3/4 of my time.... three quarters.... taking care of all these 
various and sundry animals... and I took care of them like each was the only animal I had... which was the only way I knew how or accepted. 

I was up early, and went to bed in exhaustion nearly every day.  For eight years, we never 
went ANYWHERE together overnight, except maybe 3 times... and it was an effort to find farmsitters every time we needed to be away for a few hours.  The farmsitters had to be paid, too.  

If it wasn't the animals, it was the gardens or mowing the yard or pasture. 
Always, always, something that needed to be done. 

I had done this at the first Calamity Acres, too, when there was only one of me. 

I should have known. 

Keith jumped right in with both feet when we first moved there... and built so much of the infrastructure... his mantra, in fact "Infrastructure first".  Of course, I didn't always follow it. 

Then, his health worsened.  

I spent even more time taking care of everything... and things started to go to rack and ruin in the buildings. 

Fast forward to our move, totally unexpected this spring. 

If you had asked me a year ago... would I ever move off our little piece of heaven? 

NO!

But here is something I have been finding out in this last month. 

It's okay not to feel guilty about not doing chores for an hour in the morning and in the evening. 

It's okay not to start 500 seeds inside. 

It's okay not to be planning a garden this year, when we are surrounded by 
farmer's markets. 

It's okay not to can or freeze. 

Will I ever have a garden again?  

YES... I am already planning it.  But we are at least two months away from 
being completely finished at the old place... so we won't be doing much 
but planters this year.  

Will we ever have diverse animals again... no, but I'm happy to have had them, and 
I admire those who have them.  I can tell you it is hard, hard work. 

Here is something else I have been finding out...

I have a husband with whom I can have discussions again. 
I told him last night "Gee, we sure are talking a lot since we moved!" 
He said 
"You were always busy outside, and I was too sick to go out. When you came in, you were too tired to talk."

Shame on me.  

That, if anything, is a good enough reason to move. 

So... yes, I miss the ponds, and the pasture and the wild things and the birds and the mini-horses, 
but I have a best friend back again, and a hopefully long future with him. 

A good trade off? 

I think YES! 


18 comments:

  1. Sometimes it gets to where you have to let go. I've been there, and it can hurt, but situations change and we have to adjust. You did the right thing.

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  2. It was about finding the right balance Mary Ann.

    I think ya'll have found it.

    Hope you are both well and doing good.

    You will always have many memories to pull from.

    Am off tomorrow and Monday.

    Later,
    Ramona

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  3. Oh mary ann my momma has goose bumps all over her arms and tears in her eyes. She just loved this post. How true you are ....and what a gift your new house is bringing you....time with your husband..to talk and enjoy one anothers company....I know you are having a bit of a hard time right now with Ab's illness but remember it is nothing but a bump in the road...you are a strong smart loving woman...it will fall into place as it is meant to be.
    Hugs
    Stella rose and her momma

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  4. I truly understand what you are processing. We moved from a very large property to one that takes minimal work comparatively. It has been an adjustment and that is putting it politely.

    Almost three years later we are finding out what contentment feels like Yes, there is still plenty that needs to be done but at a slower pace. We aren't getting any younger and worked our wings off. It was when aches and pains didn't trail you as if they were your best friend. Looking back has its place but looking forward is much better. It won't be the same and it will be different but hopefully you will be able to enjoy your lives together and the creation we live in to a fuller degree.

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  5. Good for you, my friend.. It is wonderful that you figured it out and had the experiences you did but now just enjoy.. xo

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  6. one of the toughest things in life is to know when the right time to end something is. you've done a good job!

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  7. You have a great attitude, Mary Ann,and you know you all made the best decision for yourselves and I admire you for doing it. You are now on a new adventure and have a less stressful and work-free life ahead of you. That's worth a lot. I'll be glad when my hubby and I can decide whether we're staying here after he retires or moving to a place with less work. And here we just planted a few more fruit trees and added a strawberry bed! But, we only have 6 acres that a neighbor mows for us for the hay and we can mow the 3 lots our yard covers. We don't have any farm animals to take care of and even tho I'd like a few chickens, he says no, it would tie us down and I know he's right. It's still a lot to keep up with, but we do enjoy gardening and our flowers and if they don't do well some years, we don't fret about it. As you said, there are plenty of produce for sale around. Part of me would like to move mostly because I've lived in or near this town all my life and would like to see what it's like somewhere else before I get too old, which is approaching faster than I like to think! He doesn't much care one way or the other. As long as he has a TV to watch, he's fine. :) Sorry, I didn't mean to write a book. Take care and be happy in your new place in life! ~Cheryl

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  8. Mary Ann, you have what is important in your life right now,,,
    Its like a gift has been given to you, maybe that gift is health,,, to recover from all the hard times you have had.
    I understand what you are saying,, we have felt that way before too...
    but the main thing is to treasure each day-- each new day..
    love
    tweedles

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  9. Mary Ann,

    It's at this time in our lives where we need to cherish what we have, our first love, our soul mate and take care of one another. God put you on this earth to farm and take care of animals, you did this, now he wants you to enjoy what you and Keith have together.

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  10. Sometimes we need to let go and move on to a new chapter in our lives. I pray that you enjoy your new normal with your best friend!!

    Blessings~
    Laura

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  11. An excellent trade off! I'm glad you re-found your best friend.

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  12. The BEST trade off I think! It sure can be hard work and sometimes the time is right to make a change, you've dealt with this wonderfully and have done right by all of your charges - it's now time for you and Keith to reap the benefits. And of course there is always the opportunity to 'adopt' via blogging the range of animals your blogging friends keep, I love learning about the other species that bloggers keep, somehow it fulfils a need without me dashing out to buy goats, chickens, pigs, llamas etc! Probably a good job, my husband would die if I got anymore! :-)

    Sending you good wishes for a sunny weekend!

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  13. It sounds like you all made a very wise move for sure. Now you have the best of both worlds, lots of great memories and now time to enjoy your life together too.

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  14. Lovely Post...Sometimes we have to take a step back to see what the real truth is......Glad you got your "friend" back! xoxo

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  15. God allows changes to happen to our lives and if we follow His lead we will learn something new. Be blessed!

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  16. You followed God's leading when He gently opened a door. He never shoves us through, but you were wise enough to follow His leading. It is definitely a good trade-off, and God will continue to bless you, my friend!

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  17. When one door closes, another door opens. Great news to hear, good for you :-)

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  18. I completely understand. It is a ton of work.

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