Beginning Another Year

 The holidays are over again, and it seems fitting that we start another year on a Monday. 

It is sunny with some clouds here in NE Kansas, and the wind is blowing my flag from the south at the moment, though our days of temperate temps are gone for a while.  We are in a period of cold, but not like the cold and snow our friends on the east coast have seen.  In fact, one year at Christmas we had nine inches of snow... that was hard on man and beast. 

I was stunned to see I had not blogged since October, and I hope to do better this coming year. 

How did I ever find time to do it daily in the past? 

2023 was hard for me here, and I am going to write about why.  I have not written about it... on purpose, because my heart was broken... and I was having trouble going on. 

On April 4th, little Zoey begain to have trouble breathing one day.  I had adopted her from Bonner Animal Rescue in November, 2021. 

This was two days prior.  

She had had a chest infection in March, and had taken medicine for it, and had had several visits to the vet.  That week, she had a follow up, and I was told her chest was fine.  I asked if they should xray again, and the vet assured me her chest was clear. 

Two days later, she struggled to breathe.  As it went on during the day, I began to get more and more alarmed, and I ended up taking her to the 24 hour ER.  They took her right back and put her in the oxygen chamber, and told me to go home they would call in the morning. 

The phone call I got at 9 AM was to tell me she had died. 

They told me the doctor had reached in to get her to give her a lasix shot and she had fallen over dead. 

I was so stunned, I cried out, and I got myself together and drove over there and spent time in the family room holding her. I could not believe it. 

My sweet little girl. 

She had embraced being a farm dog to the fullest, she did chores with me everyday. 

Her groomer posted this for her.  Yes, she cleaned up pretty good thanks to Brooke. 

On May 5th, we had to make the decision for big Buddy to cross the Rainbow Bridge. 

He was only here for nine months as a foster, but oh, my, how he stole my heart. 

Majestic. 

Officer Kendra from Bonner Springs (Kansas), the ACO, escorted us down to the vet, and stayed with us to the end.  He was having increasing trouble getting down the three steps to the yard... and we were afraid he would collapse out in the yard at some point.  

He had a wonderful last nine months. 

That left this guy. 

My Jester, my heart.  Remember, I had lost Snowy and Fritzi before I got Zoey, and Jester accepted them all.  He was good to everyone, even big Buddy.  We had had four pugs, but had never had a Boston until my son asked us if we would like to have him in 2014, they had taken in a Boston and an English Bulldog puppy, and it was too much for them.  

We had dog sat for them and we liked Jester a lot. 

More importantly, Lilly Ann liked Jester. 

One of my favorite pictures of our water baby, Lilly. 

My babies. 

On May 25, at 5:00 in the morning, Jester, who had never barked in the nine years I had him... he was eleven years old... began to scream and bark.  The screams were almost like human screams.  He frantically ran from the living room, into the shower stall behind the curtain, all the while screaming.  My son ran out of his bedroom, and was afraid to touch him, and I was shaking... I hurriedly dressed and in the dark, caught Jester and carried him to the car, and set out for the ER which is thirty miles away. 

The unearthly screaming stopped in the car, but he was panting terribly. 

I got him in the door and they took him right back, for once, the waiting room was empty. 

I stayed for a while, but they told me it might be hours, and I was pretty shaken. 

I drove the thirty miles home.  

I had phone call after phone call with increasingly bad news. 

He had Cushings.  He had a huge tumor wrapped around his spleen (they suspected it had started to come apart)... he had growths on kidney and liver.... 

Fritzi had had Cushings, their life span is very short, and it takes a terrible toll on them. 

There was not one encouraging thing in the doctor's reports.  

I made a decision to let him cross the bridge... and it was horrifying. 

The young doctor had a condition which did not let her empathize, and the procedure was done in a terrible way, with no time between sedative and final shot.  It broke my heart completely, my boy in my lap, literally. 

The ER offered a pet loss psychologist, and I saw her over the summer because I literally felt like I was coming apart.  Nothing had ever affected me that way, not even Keith's death because I had been able to prepare for it and we had talked about it over and over. 

Jester was my last link to Keith, pet-wise. 

It was crushing. 

I have had dogs almost my whole life, and I have none now.  I just can't go through it again, I can't.  I try... I know there are so many in shelters that need homes... I am donating, because I can't trust myself not to go off the deep end with another loss. 

I didn't tell anyone for weeks.  I didn't tell members of my family for months... I couldn't.  A few trusted friends.  

At Christmas, I got cards addressed to Jes, Buddy and Zoey, and I just had to grit my teeth. 

Anyway.... they are gone. 

The year otherwise was pretty good. 

My little great granddaughter, Maci, and great grandson, Wyatt, had a great Christmas. 

I had them here on Black Friday because I know they have a huge round of family at Christmas. 

The cats have pretty much taken over around here.... In descending order, that's Bullseye, Wanda, on my bed, Bob, Coco is in the seat of the chair, she is so black you can hardly see her on the coverlet. Molly is on the back of the big couch. Wanda was vetted for a cut on her neck, and has become an inside cat, along with Coco.  The other three still go out. 

Mama, Teeny, and Cleo are still out in the shop, and thriving.  They have a heater and a warming light. 

We have not had frigid temps yet. 

Teeny still sleeps in the wood burning stove, she has a deep bed of straw in it. 

Everyone has their current shots except Cleo, and she is going to have to be a drop off, I think, because it will depend on when I can get her into a carrier. 

Oh, yes, we still have plenty of these.  Mama Raccoon taught her babies how to come in and out of the barn to check for treats.  I pour out a small amount of dry cat food when I close up at night, and if it is warm,  I leave the door cracked.  They also still come in and out through the "cat hole" in the wall. 

That's Bullseye out in the shop overnight on the Kuranda bed, and you see there is a big possum right behind him.... I love them, they are so helpful and eat ticks, etc.. They can carry a horse disease (if they have it) but there are no equines here now. 

They are gentle creatures with short lifespans. 

I feed the finches on the deck rail outside my window only when the cats are in.  

I love to watch them. 

This Cooper's Hawk has taken up a nest in my pasture, and he often sits on the fenceposts.  He is a beauty! 

So far, he has not gone for a chicken. 

Speaking of the chickens, 

I am down to sixteen now.  I started last year with four roosters, I have two and I don't expect the larger of the two to be around for long, he is six and showing signs of being tuckered out. 

Doug the Silkie rooster is still going strong. 

The trees in the wild area across from my place turned bright red in the fall, it lasted almost ten days and was glorious. 

And yes, the sheep came back, and when the big flock went home... I had Snickers the Jersey Heifer, Doodles the goat, and an ancient sheep I called Grandma as boarders for the next month, and I really enjoyed them.

My beautiful rooster Singleton left us suddenly in October; I went out to his house and found him gone one morning.  I lost his dad earlier, and his brother, Buddy, has now moved into his house. 

I hope to do better at blogging this year... 2024.... it sounds so strange to say it. 

I do enjoy reading other's blogs, still, and I miss staying in touch this way. 

I hope everyone reading this has a wonderful year, full of all the things you are hoping for. 

Jester Boy Yoder, 2012 to May 25, 2023